Tag Archives: Anxiety

Parenting

TEN THINGS   NEVER  TO SAY TO YOUR CHILD  :

Parenting is not  a very  easy job. The most important and difficult part of parenting is learning to talk to your child.

Remember that children take everything literally and the way you talk to them goes a long way in building their personality. As a parent who wants the best for them, sometimes we say things that we don’t really mean. Caution: damage is done.

Read on to know the 10 things parents and grandparents should never tell their kids:

1. ‘You are a bad boy/girl’

Never feed negative thoughts in your children, it kills their self-esteem. Kids are innocent and believe in goodness. Always tell them to be good, happy, and positive. Explain them that some words or actions are bad as they may hurt or harm somebody. But don’t tell them that it makes them a bad boy/girl. In fact, give them a positive comment like “you are the best/cutest/brightest child in the world,” it will boost their self-esteem. Chances are that they would never want to let you down. Teach them what is right and wrong, and to value good things over bad.

2. A straight ‘NO’

A straight ‘no’ is too harsh for your little prince/princess. If kids hear ‘no’ all the time, they lose confidence and faith in their parents. If you don’t approve of your children action, try giving them options. For example, instead of saying “No shouting,” try “Talk softly, please.” Instead of “Don’t play in the house,” tell them “Why don’t you call your friends to the park and play.”

3. ‘Don’t talk to me’

Never ban the channel of communication between you and your children. Never tell them to stop talking or arguing. Let them question and share their opinion freely. Rather talk to them, if you want them to stick to your advice. Tell them what they are supposed to do and why it’s important. Convince them with your words, tone, and expressions. Yes, keep talking and listening till they buy your point. When my child doesn’t buy my point, instead of asking him not to argue, I make a sad face and say ‘Okay, do whatever you like, but I am upset.’ This may start the conversation again and you have a chance to bargain or win the argument. Try arriving on a win-win situation.

4. ‘Why can’t you be like your brother/sister?’

Never compare your children with their brother/sister. It makes them jealous. They will feel left out. It drives feeling of failure in your kids and dislike between siblings.

Download free socialisation skills worksheet for your child

5. ‘Leave me alone!’

You are everything to your kids. Never tell them that you will leave them alone or demand to be left alone. Never say anything that will hurt your children to an extent that they feel they aren’t loved or wanted. It’s a big no-no even if you feel like pulling out your hair, or just want to be alone. Talk of kids teaching us patience? Yeah!

6. ‘No one wants kids like you’

A ‘problem child’ doesn’t exist by its own, right? We are the ones to blame if kids become problematic. They are a reflection of parents. They have learnt everything from parents, family, friends, and surroundings. So if you think your children aren’t behaving properly, remember they didn’t choose to be in the world that surrounds them. You chose that world for them!

7. ‘You can’t do this!’

Never shake your kids’ self-confidence. There will be times when they would want to do something, but you know they won’t be able to do. Just remember to give them a chance as long as it doesn’t harm them. When my son thinks he can lift a heavy chair, instead of ‘you can’t do it,’ I tell him, ‘Try if you can do it or I will help you,’ or ‘You might hurt yourself in this attempt so let me do it for you.’ The best alternative, however, is ‘Let’s do it together!’ Kids learn through trial and error. However they’ll never try anything new, if you’ve made them afraid to try.
How engaged is your child? Find out now > >

8. ‘Girls/Boys don’t do that’

A child is a child, so let him/her be. Don’t create gender-biased rules. Let your kids decide for themselves—to be more like girls or boys when they grow up. Don’t stop them from exploring things they may be curious about or good at. When my son was three years old, I bought him a kitchen set and was prepared to see people surprised. Who said boys shouldn’t cook?

9. ‘Let Daddy come and I will tell

This common mistake by parents is a double whammy. It instils anxiety and fear in your child—especially of the person who you’re going to tell about whatever happened—and it shows you’re incapable of handling your children or the issue. Also, don’t make it an everyday threat. There are things your kid may do unintentionally, or irresponsibly. You may want to tell your spouse about it. Ask your kids, “Do you want to tell dad, or should I explain it to him and give the reason?” Let your children take ownership of their mistakes and their actions, but do it respectfully.

10. ‘You are too big to do this!’

Don’t deprive your kids of childhood. They will grow up, what’s the hurry? Instead, be like them. See if it makes them more comfortable and happy. So when my 8-year-old wants to jump on the bed because India won a cricket match, what do I do? I start jumping too, and love to see him happier!

As a parent it’s our responsibility to make them happy, secure, and confident to face the world. What are the other things you think a parent should never say to a child? Comment now!

Resources: Times of India

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Turnera diffusa

Botanical Name :Turnera diffusa
Family: Passifloraceae
Genus: Turnera
Species: T. diffusa
Kingdom: Plantae
Order: Malpighiales

Synonym:Turnera diffusa aphrodisiaca

Common Name:Damiana

Habitat :Turnera diffusa is native to southwestern Texas in the United States,  Central America, Mexico, South America, and the Caribbean

Description:
Turnera diffusa is a relatively small shrub that produces small, aromatic flowers. It blossoms in early to late summer and is followed by fruits that taste similar to figs. The shrub is said to have a strong spice-like odor somewhat like chamomile, due to the essential oils present in the plant. The leaves have traditionally been made into a tea and an incense which was used by native people of Central and South America for its relaxing effects. Spanish missionaries first recorded that the Mexican Indians drank Damiana tea mixed with sugar for use as an aphrodisiac

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Cultivation:   
Requires a dry soil in a warm sunny sheltered position. One report says that this species is hardy to about -5°c, though this needs to be treated with some caution considering its native range is entirely tropical. It is possible that, whilst the plant will be cut back to the ground by cold weather, the rootstock is hardier and will re-sprout in the spring. It will certainly be worthwhile trying the plant outdoors and giving the roots a thick protective mulch in the autumn.

Propagation:  
Seed – sow spring in a greenhouse. Prick out the seedlings into individual pots once they are large enough to handle and grow them on in the greenhouse for at least their first winter. Plant them out into their permanent positions in early summer and give some protection from winter cold for at least their first winter outdoors. Division in spring or autumn. Cuttings of half-ripe wood, July/August in a frame. Overwinter the young plants in a greenhouse and plant them out in early summer.

Constituents:  leaves: greenish volatile oil consisting of cineole, p-cymene, alpha- and beta-pinene, thymol, alpha-copaene, and calamene. the dry matter of the leaf includes damianin as well as tannins, flavonoids, beta-sitosterol, and the glycosides gonzalitosin, arbu

Medicinal Uses: * Aphrodisiac * Libido * Prostate
Properties: * Aphrodisiac * Astringent * Bitter * Nervine * Stimulant * Tonic
Parts Used: Leaf

Turnera diffusa has long been claimed to have a stimulating effect on libido, and its use as an aphrodisiac has continued into modern times. More recently, some corroborating scientific evidence in support of its long history of use has emerged. Several animal testing studies have shown evidence of increased sexual activity in rats of both sexes. Damiana has been shown to be particularly stimulating for sexually exhausted or impotent male rats as well as generally increased sexual activity in rats of both sexes. It has also been shown that damiana may function as an aromatase inhibitor, which has been suggested as a possible method of action for its reputed effects.

Turnera diffusa might be effective as an anxiolytic.

Turnera diffusa is an ingredient in a traditional Mexican liqueur, which is sometimes used in lieu of Triple Sec in margaritas. Mexican folklore claims that it was used in the “original” margarita. The damiana margarita is popular in the Los Cabos region of Mexico.

Turnera diffusa was included in several 19th century patent medicines, such as Pemberton’s French Wine Coca. The leaves were omitted from that product’s non-alcoholic counterpart, Coca-Cola.

Turnera diffusa is used primarily as an aphrodisiac for both sexes 1, and as a stimulant that can boost mental focus and stamina.

The health benefits of damiana are for the most part only verified by folklore and long observation, not by scientific study, however chemical analysis shows that damiana contains alkaloids similar to caffeine that have stimulating and aphrodisiac effects, stimulating blood flow to the genital area and increasing sensitivity. Some people report feelings of mild euphoria. Damiana is often combined with saw palmetto in formulas that address male prostate health.

Known Hazards :  Tetanus-like rigidity and genitourinary irritation in one patient. Possible hallucinations. May affect the control of blood sugar in diabetic patients

Disclaimer : The information presented herein is intended for educational purposes only. Individual results may vary, and before using any supplement, it is always advisable to consult with your own health care provider

Resources:
http://www.anniesremedy.com/herb_detail201.php
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turnera_diffusa
http://www.pfaf.org/user/Plant.aspx?LatinName=Turnera+diffusa+aphrodisiaca

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Yoga Has Greater Positive Effect on Anxiety than Other Forms of Exercise

Yoga has a greater positive effect on a person’s mood and anxiety level than walking and other forms of exercise, which may be due to higher levels of the brain chemical GABA.
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Yoga has been shown to increase the level of gamma-aminobutyric acid, or GABA, a chemical in the brain that helps to regulate nerve activity. GABA activity is reduced in people with mood and anxiety disorders, and drugs that increase GABA activity are commonly prescribed to improve mood and decrease anxiety.

Tying all of these observations together, the study by Chris Streeter and colleagues demonstrates that increased GABA levels measured after a session of yoga postures are associated with improved mood and decreased anxiety. Their findings establish a new link between yoga, higher levels of GABA in the thalamus, and improvements in mood and anxiety based on psychological assessments. The authors suggest that the practice of yoga stimulates specific brain areas, thereby giving rise to changes in endogenous antidepressant neurotransmitters such as GABA.

“This is important work that establishes some objective bases for the effects that highly trained practitioners of yoga therapy throughout the world see on a daily basis. What is important now is that these findings are further investigated in long-term studies to establish just how sustainable such changes can be in the search for safe non-drug treatments for depression,” says Kim A. Jobst, Editor-in-Chief of The Journal of Alternative and Complementary Medicine.

Source: Elements4Health

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Exercise the Best Drug for Depression


Psychologist Jasper Smits is working on an unorthodox treatment for anxiety and mood disorders. The treatment is free and has no side effects. What is it? Exercise.

Research has shown again and again that patients who follow aerobic-exercise regimens see improvement in their depression — improvements comparable to that of those treated with medication. Exercise not only relieves depressive symptoms but also appears to prevent them from recurring.

According to Times Magazine:
Molecular biologists and neurologists have begun to show that exercise may alter brain chemistry in much the same way that antidepressant drugs do — regulating the key neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine.”

Source: Time Magazine June 19, 2010

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Practice Yoga & Sleep Well

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Nothing can make you more refreshed and energised for a long day than a night of sound sleep. Whether you are a corporate professional, a student or a housewife, all of us experience some form of stress in our day to day lives. There is no end to the number of worries and the anxiety that can plague one’s happiness; especially when we go to sleep. For some of us, depending on our lifestyle, this may be the only time that we get in the whole day, to relax our body and mind. This however, becomes difficult when you try too hard to relax. It only makes your body tenser.

There are numerous benefits of a night of good, sound sleep. It is when you sleep that your body repairs the damaged cells in it. It also helps increase your concentration and retention power because your mind is relaxed. When you do not get this dose of sleep, you feel tired, drained out and unable to concentrate on work at hand. Worse, if this continues, it leads to disorders like insomnia and sometimes people even start hallucinating.

While there are drugs and chemicals to superficially cure you of such disorders and make you sleep, nothing can replace the benefits of a natural remedy. Yoga is such an experimental science. Through yoga, you learn to experiment and understand your own body. It automatically tells you what is good for your body and what is not, what relaxes your body and what does not. The external environment around you will then no longer matter, because you know that you can calm your body down no matter where you are and give it the relaxation it needs. You will not need to depend on anything else to get that night’s sleep.

Shavasana is a relatively common relaxation yogasana but its benefits are innumerous. It relaxes your entire being. This asana should be practiced before sleep as it will take away all your physical and mental fatigue and make you aware of your own body. Ujjayi Pranayama when done in Shavasana helps in inducing sleep. It is a tranquilising  pranayama and a perfect cure for insomnia. It has an enormous soothing effect on the nervous system and calms down your nerves. Matsya Kridasana is another relaxation asana that can be practiced before going to sleep. It is especially helpful in calming down. Source

Source: Yoga.am Dec 13.’09

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