Positive thinking

Passive Aggressive Behavior

Claiming Our Feelings :-

If you’ve ever found yourself repressing your anger and behaving in other ways to get your point across, you may be someone who is adept at engaging in passive-aggressive behavior. Although passive-aggressive behavior is recognized as a psychological disorder, it also describes the behavior that many people use to cope with confrontational situations. Such behavior has the outward appearance of being peaceful, yet it is really an attempt to express oneself in seemingly passive ways—usually without accepting responsibility for doing so. For example, someone who doesn’t want to attend an event with a partner might engage in behavior that causes them to be late or miss the event without ever admitting to their partner that they never wanted to go to the function at all. Procrastination, inefficiency, stubbornness, and sullenness are some of the many ways that anger can be expressed indirectly.

It is important not to judge ourselves when we engage in passive-aggressive behavior. You may want to consider that you are not owning your feelings or your expression by indirectly expressing yourself. Perhaps you are judging your feelings and needs as wrong—which is why you are expressing yourself indirectly. You also may be worried that others will judge you for feeling the way that you do. Remember that anger and every other emotion are never good or bad. They can, however, become toxic of you don’t express them in healthy and proactive ways. When we express ourselves directly, we are more likely to be heard by the other person. It also becomes easier for us to ask for and get what we want.

Once we learn to be honest with ourselves about our feelings, we can begin to directly express ourselves to others. By learning to express ourselves directly, we prevent misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and resentment from cropping up in our relationships. We also learn to communicate with others in healthy and productive ways. It is never too late to start working on ourselves and our behaviors, just take it one day at a time.

Sources:Daily Om

News on Health & Science Pediatric

Your Son Is Defiant, Has Temper Tantrums

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Attention deficit hyperactive disorder or ADHD is erroneously considered to be a 20th century phenomenon affecting mainly children from developed nations. Actually, it was first described in 1845 by a psychiatrist in a boy called “fidgety Philip”. Today, the worldwide incidence is 3-5 per cent, irrespective of nationality. In referral paediatric clinics, it is as high as 15.5 per cent. The average age at diagnosis is eight years with a 6:1 male-to-female ratio.


Children who have the hyperactive impulsive type of ADHD are unbearably fidgety, restless and impatient, always running, jumping, climbing and blurting out inappropriate comments. They often receive corporal punishment from frustrated parents and teachers. Others, with the inattentive type of ADHD, are dreamy and bored, with difficulty in paying attention, learning something new or completing a task. Homework becomes a particular problem, with assignments forgotten, books misplaced and the final unsatisfactorily completed task full of erasures and errors.

Around 40 per cent of children with ADHD (especially boys) are argumentative, defiant, stubborn, non-compliant and belligerent. They lie, steal, fight, bully others, have temper tantrums and engage in vandalism. Eventually, as teenagers, they may gravitate towards drugs and alcohol.

To make a diagnosis of ADHD:

* The symptoms should have set in before the age of seven years and have lasted for at least six months

* They should cause difficulties in the child’s life, in school, at play, at home, in the community and in social settings

* The changes should not have been precipitated by a sudden traumatic event like the death of a parent

* There should be no diagnosed medical ailments like seizures, middle ear infections or a learning disability to explain the symptoms.

Society often finds fault with the parents of children with ADHD. They are criticised for faulty nurturing and lack of parental discipline. But parents are actually helpless, as ADHD has a genetic and neurobiologic basis. Scans have shown that the frontal lobes, temporal grey matter, caudate nucleus and cerebellum of the brains of these children are 34 per cent smaller than normal in volume. Also, the brain has lower levels of a signal-processing chemical called dopamine.

The exact reason for these changes is not known. However,

* ADHD runs in families. About 25 per cent of the close relatives of ADHD children also have similar disorders as opposed to 5 per cent in the general population

* Women who smoke and drink during pregnancy have a higher incidence of children with ADHD

* High blood lead levels have been demonstrated in some children with ADHD. This, however, is not a consistent finding

* A sugar high has been blamed for some of the symptoms. This is a label for the increased level of activity following the ingestion of highly refined sugars or carbohydrates, which enter the bloodstream rapidly and produce fluctuations in blood glucose levels. This is particularly true if (as in the case of cola drinks) the food also contains caffeine (a stimulant) and food additives. Diet restrictions reducing the quantities of such food help in some cases.

Children with ADHD hate change in any form. They need a scheduled, regimented life with the same routine  every day. All their belongings should also be organised and kept in specific places. With structured care, these children show a great deal of improvement and are able to integrate into society. About 30 to 70 per cent of children with ADHD continue to have symptoms in adult life. Academic excellence — a prelude to higher studies and a good job — may remain elusive. This is aggravated by poor social skills. They remain easily distracted, hyperactive and impulsive and have difficulty with deadlines, prioritisation and social engagements. Decision-making is an almost insurmountable hurdle. They also have problems holding down a steady job. Many are able to function on computers and are intelligent enough to do programming and other jobs which do not require social interaction. Around 80 per cent need to continue to live with parents or siblings.

Some children do not improve despite psychotherapy and a structured environment. They require medication with mental stimulants like methylphenidate and atmoxetine. They do well if they take their medication, which may need to be continued into adult life.

Competition is fierce in India, for education, jobs, promotions and success. Reservations and capitation fees are a way of life. In this scenario, parents may find it difficult to cope with a hyperactive, inattentive, disobedient and impulsive child who does not conform to social norms.

It is often difficult for the parents to accept that their child has ADHD. They feel depressed and guilty, even though it is not their fault. And despite all folklore to the contrary, an arranged marriage to an unsuspecting spouse does not cure the problem.

Source:The Telegraph (Kolkata, India)

Positive thinking

Begetting Change

Same Choices, Same Results
Repeated bouts of adversity are an unavoidable aspect of human existence. We battle against our inner struggles or outer world forces, and in many cases, we emerge on the opposite side of struggle stronger and better equipped to cope with the challenges yet to come. However, we can occasionally encounter trials that seem utterly hopeless. We strike at them with all of our creativity and perseverance, hoping desperately to bring about change, only to meet with the same results as always. Our first instinct in such situations is often to push harder against the seemingly immovable obstruction before us, assuming that this time we will be met with a different outcome. But staying power and stamina net us little when the same choices consistently garner the same results. A change in perspective, behavior, or response can do so much more to help us move past points where no amount of effort seems sufficient to overcome the difficulties before us.

Whether our intention is to change ourselves or some element of the world around us, we cannot simply wish for transformation or hope that our lives will be altered through circumstance. If our patterns of thought and behavior remain unchanged, our lives will continue to unfold much as they have previously. Patterns in which fruitless efforts prevail can be overcome with self examination and courage. It is our bravery that allows us to question the choices we have made thus far and to channel our effort into innovation. Asking questions and making small adjustments to your thought processes and behaviors will help you discover what works, so you can leave that which does not work behind you. To break free from those unconscious patterns that have long held sway over your actions and reactions, you will likely have to challenge your assumptions on a most basic level. You must accept once and for all that your beliefs with regard to cause and effect may no longer be in accorda! nce with your needs.

Stagnation is often a sign that great changes are on the horizon. Courting the change you wish to see in yourself and in the world around you is a matter of acknowledging that only change begets change. The results you so ardently want to realize are well within the realm of possibility, and you need only step away from the well-worn circular path to explore the untried paths that lie beyond it.

Source:Daily Om

Herbs & Plants

Hollyhocks (Alcea Roses)

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Botanical Name: Alcea rosea
Family: Malvaceae
Genus: Alcea
Kingdom: Plantae
Order:     Malvales

The scientific name for Hollyhocks is Alcea rosea but used to go by the scientific name Althaea and is still seen that way in garden catalogs on occasion.

Common Name:Hollyhocks

Habitats: Holyhock is native to Eurasia.It grows in Woodland Garden; Sunny Edge; Dappled Shade; and in  Cultivated Beds.Hollyhocks prefer rich, well-drained soil and full sun. Light shade is tolerated but wet winter soil is not….click & see

Holyhock  is a biennial or short-lived perennial plant about 4-8′ tall. The stout central stem is unbranched or sparingly branched; it is light green, terete, and more or less hairy. The blades of the alternate leaves are up to 8″ long and across; they are palmately lobed (with 3-7 blunt lobes each) and crenate along their margins. Each leaf blade is orbicular or oval in outline and indented at the base where the petiole joins the blade. The upper surface of each leaf blade is medium green, slightly pubescent to hairless, and wrinkled from fine veins; the lower surface is light green and pubescent. The petioles of the leaves are as long or a little longer than their blades; they are light green and hairy..
Click to view  pictures

The central stem terminates in a spike-like raceme of flowers; axillary flowers are produced from the axils of the upper leaves as well. These flowers occur individually or in small clusters along the central stem; they nod sideways from short hairy pedicels. Each flower spans about 3-5″ when it is fully open; it has 5 petals, 5 sepals, 6-9 sepal-like bracts, and a columnar structure in the center with the reproductive organs (stamens toward the tip, thread-like stigmas below). The overlapping petals provide the flower with a funnelform shape; they are usually some shade of white, pink, or purplish red. The sepals are light green, ovate, and much smaller than the petals. The bracts of each flower are located underneath the sepals; they are light green, hairy, ovate, and joined together at the base. The blooming period occurs from mid-summer into the fall; a colony of plants will bloom for about 2 months. Each flower is replaced by a fruit containing a ring of 15-20 seeds (technically, a schizocarp). These seeds are oval, flattened, and notched on one side. The root system consists of a taproot. This plant spreads by reseeding itself.

Species: There are about 60 species of Alcea, including:

Alcea acaulis
Alcea biennis (syn. A. pallida)
Alcea calvertii
Alcea ficifolia — Antwerp hollyhock
Alcea flavovirens
Alcea grossheimii — Grossheim’s alcea
Alcea heldreichii
Alcea kurdica
Alcea lavateriflora
Alcea litwinowii
Alcea longipedicellata
Alcea nudiflora
Alcea pallida
Alcea rhyticarpa
Alcea rosea — common hollyhock
Alcea rugosa
Alcea setosa — bristly hollyhock
Alcea sosnovskyi
Alcea striata
Alcea sulphurea

Hardiness Zones: Hollyhocks are hardy in zones 2-10.

Uses in the Garden: Perfect for planting in the back of borders, for old cottage gardens, cut flower gardens, humming bird beds or fence borders.

Cultivation details:
Succeeds in most soils. Poor soils should be enriched with organic matter. Prefers a heavy rich soil and a sheltered sunny position.Plants are hardy to about -15°c.A very ornamental plant, it is usually grown as a biennial due to its susceptibility to the fungal disease ‘rust’. There are many named varieties.Young plants, and also the young growth in spring, are very attractive to slugs. The preference is full to partial sun, moist to mesic conditions, and a fertile loamy soil. Lower leaves will wither away during hot dry weather. Hollyhock is vulnerable to foliar disease, including rust.

Seed – sow April/May or August/September in pots or in situ[200, 238]. Easily grown from seed, which usually germinates in about 2 – 3 weeks at 20°c[133, 268]. When large enough to handle, prick the seedlings out into individual pots and plant them out in the summer.Division after flowering. Only use rust-free specimens.Root cuttings in December.Basal cuttings at almost any time of year

Medicinal Uses:
Antiinflammatory; Astringent; Demulcent; Diuretic; Emollient; Febrifuge.

Hollyhock is stated to be an emollient and laxative. It is used to control inflammation, to stop bed-wetting and as a mouthwash in cases of bleeding gums .

The flowers are demulcent, diuretic and emollient. They are useful in the treatment of chest complaints, and a decoction is used to improve blood circulation, for the treatment of constipation, dysmenorrhoea, haemorrhage etc. The flowers are harvested when they are open and are dried for later use.
The shoots are used to ease a difficult labour. The root is astringent and demulcent. It is crushed and applied as a poultice to ulcers. Internally, it is used in the treatment of dysentery. The roots and the flowers are used in Tibetan medicine, where they are said to have a sweet, acrid taste and a neutral potency. They are used in the treatment of inflammations of the kidneys/womb, vaginal/seminal discharge, and the roots on their own are used to treat loss of appetite.
The seed is demulcent, diuretic and febrifuge.The flowers are used in the treatment of repiratory and inflammatory ailments and the root extracts to produce marshmallow sweets.

Other Uses
Compost; Dye; Litmus; Oil; Paper.
A fibre obtained from the stems is used in papermaking. The fibres are about 1.9mm long. The stems are harvested in late summer, the leaves are removed and the stems are steamed until the fibres can be removed. The fibres are cooked with lye for 2 hours and then ball milled for 3 hours or pounded with mallets. The paper is light tan in colour.

The flowers are an alternative ingredient of ‘Quick Return’ herbal compost activator. This is a dried and powdered mixture of several herbs that can be added to a compost heap in order to speed up bacterial activity and thus shorten the time needed to make the compost.The seed contains 12% of a drying oil.The red anthocyanin constituent of the flowers is used as a litmus.A brown dye is obtained from the petals.
Hollyhocks are tolerant of black walnut toxins and, like Polemonium plants, can be planted near and around black walnut trees where other plants will not grow.

The information presented herein is intended for educational purposes only. Individual results may vary, and before using any supplements, it is always advisable to consult with your own health care provider.


News on Health & Science

Being thin is in the genes

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BLAME YOUR GENES: According to studies, if a person has a family member suffering from anorexia nervosa, he or she is 12 times more at risk of developing the illness.


TULSA, OKLAHOMA: A researcher at a US clinic says that a decade-long study into anorexia nervosa is beginning to reveal that those who suffer from the disease might have a genetic predisposition toward it.

The study, known as the Genetics of Anorexia Nervosa collaboration, is conducted in eight cities in North America and two European cities. It is funded by the National Institutes of Health.

Researcher Craig Johnson said that if a person has a family member who has had anorexia nervosa, he or she is 12 times more at risk of developing the illness.

Genetics loads the gun. Environment pulls the trigger,  said Johnson, the director of the eating disorders unit at Laureate Psychiatric Hospital in Tulsa and one of the study’s principal researchers.

Johnson said researchers have devoted much attention during the past 40 years into looking into how a culture that promotes dieting provokes eating disorders.

We now know that the illnesses occur when there is a perfect storm of events that include genetic vulnerability and a culture that is promoting thinness through dieting and exercise,” he said.

People with anorexia nervosa –most of them young females –develop a strong aversion to food and have a distorted body image.

Johnson said the research has helped to identify groups most at risk of developing the disease, such as girls ages 11 to 14.

Girls are expected to gain a third of their adult weight during that time, or about 40 pounds, he said.

If a young woman is uneasy with the weight gain, and a parent, coach, girlfriend or boyfriend says something about their weight, it can provoke an episode of dieting.

Johnson called dieting and exercise   the royal road to eating disorders.

Source:The Times Of India