Categories
Positive thinking

Divergent Directions

[amazon_link asins=’B016IFDHM8,0062315625,B00F2I2GTI,B00IZOFRWO,B016IFCAVC,B002RWX6A0,0521477204,B0140ZCQPC,B00S5HSU5M’ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’finmeacur-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’23d2771f-709a-11e8-857f-8f99f93eb8e1′]

Coping with People You Dislike.

As much as most of us wish we could exist in harmony with the people we encounter throughout our lives, there will always be individuals we dislike. Some simply rub us the wrong way while others strike us as deliberately unaware. We may judge others as too mean or abrasive for us to interact with them comfortably. Yet no person should be deemed a villain because their beliefs, opinions, mannerisms, and mode of being are not compatible with your own. You need not embrace the rough traits they have chosen to embody. There may be times in which the best course of action involves distancing yourself from someone you dislike. But circumstances may require that you spend time in the company of individuals who awaken your aversion. In such cases, you can ease your discomfort by showing your foe loving compassion while examining your feelings carefully.

The reasons we dislike some individuals are often complex and, at first, indecipherable. Often, we are automatically averse to people who are different because they compel us to question our values, spirituality, culture, and ideologies, threatening to undermine our self-assurance. Realistically, however, those you dislike have no power to weaken your life’s foundations. In fact, your aversion to specific individuals may actually be your response to your fear that specific qualities you see in them also exist within you. Their presence may force you to face internal issues you would rather not confront. If you meet someone who inspired an intense, largely negative response in you, ask yourself why your reaction is so laden with powerful emotions. Remember that you control your feelings and, if necessary, you can minimize this individual’s impact on your well-being by choosing how you will respond to them.

Though you may not have an immediate breakthrough, your willingness to consider your dislike rationally can help you better understand the root of your feelings. Your aversion to certain individuals may not wane over time, yet the comprehension you gain through reflection can help you interact with them sympathetically, benevolently, and with a greater degree of kindness. There is nothing wrong with recognizing that you are incompatible with some people. You may never achieve a shared harmony with those you dislike, but you can nonetheless learn to modulate your reactions to these individuals and, ultimately, to coexist peacefully with them.

Source: Daily Om

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]
Advertisements
Categories
Positive thinking

7 Ways to Deal with Annoying People and Still Get Things Done

[amazon_link asins=’0761159258,B003TU29WA,B00B6HVOQU,1503280462,B01A6B0ICC,B01N77Y2NH,1492201464,B00IS8RSDI,B00DDHIA1S’ template=’ProductCarousel’ store=’finmeacur-20′ marketplace=’US’ link_id=’1d50cd35-5d9e-11e7-95a6-7dd3c41208d8′]

You can’t get along with everyone. But throughout your life, you’ll be in situations where you simply have to communicate with some of those people you just can’t stand. This may be an annoying boss, an ingratiating fan, a spineless co-worker, a difficult client, an abrasive in-law, and any number of people with any number of faults....click & see

You don’t always have to be nice — professional and to-the-point will often get the job done just as well — but you do need to make yourself understood clearly or risk letting your dislike translate into inefficient communication that hinders or even entirely undermines whatever projects you’re working on.

1. Listen
A lot of conflicts are based in misunderstandings, so always make sure you’re getting everything. Use careful questioning to focus the other person on the topic at hand so they give you what you need and avoid straying too far.

2. Repeat Everything
Your feelings about another person can color your perception of what they’re saying. To avoid this, repeat back any instructions, questions, or other problems they pose to you to make sure you absolutely understand.

3. Keep Your Cool
It’s tempting to want to argue with people who rub you the wrong way. Don’t do that! Unless they’re wrong  about something  that directly and materially affects you, don’t bother. Save the debates for when you’re with friends whose opinions matter to you.

4. Be Clear About Boundaries
You don’t have to be friends with everyone. Which means you don’t have to do favors for everyone who asks.

5. Fight Fire With Ice
The  worst thing you can do with angry or irrational people is engage them. As hard as it might seem to do, the best thing is to sit quietly and let them spend themselves ranting and raving, and then ask if they’d like to schedule a time to discuss the matter more calmly and return to whatever you were doing. If this sets off another round of yelling, simply wait it out and repeat.

6. Close the Door
Remember that your time is your own — don’t let other people, especially ones you’d rather not interact with, take control of your time. Communication outside of the narrow band needed to fulfill both of your objectives should be minimized.

7. You’re Valuable — Remember That
If you’ve found yourself in a position where you are obligated for some reason to spend time with someone you dislike, remember that most likely, they are in the same position with regard to you. But you wouldn’t be in that situation if you didn’t provide something of value, whether that’s a work skill or talent, specialized knowledge, even things as abstract as emotional support or solidarity.

People that are annoying, difficult, selfish, boring, or otherwise a chore to deal with are that way for reasons that have nothing to do with you — it’s not your job to fix, engage with, or indulge those tendencies. Don’t worry abut figuring them out or correcting them; worry instead about how you’re going to manage their  annoyances without letting it hinder your ability to achieve your own goals.

Sources:

Lifehack January 28, 2009

Related Links:
*Low Self-Esteem Sabotages Relationships
*Profound Thoughts About Relationships And Patience
*12 Ways to Improve Your Relationships and Your Life!

Reblog this post [with Zemanta]